Showing posts with label silliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silliness. Show all posts

July 2, 2008

Fixing what ain't broke


A few weeks ago I got a curious package in the mail. It was addressed to me as an employee of Zap2it, it was kind of heavy and it came from a return address I didn't recognize.

Intrigued, I opened the box. Inside were three cans of Mountain Dew -- or I guess I should say "Mountain Dew." They're three new flavors, which go by the names of Voltage, Supernova and Revolution, and I'm supposed to vote on which one is my favorite, so it can take up permanent residence in the soda aisle.

Except I'm not.

Because, honestly, why do we need yet more flavors of Mountain Dew? Why mess with what's just about the perfect soft drink? I've come to accept Code Red, although my first time drinking it was my last. There's a Taco Bell-only flavor and something called Livewire too, but whatever.

Seriously, I don't really get why, when you have a highly caffeinated, indefinably citrusy and bright yellow bit of sugar-water perfection already, you'd want to dilute the brand. Especially with something that A) has a completely nonsensical name ('cause nothing says thirst-quenching like electric shock, stellar explosion and violent uprising); B) contains ginseng (It's pop, fer crissakes. Are sugar and caffeine not enough); and C) has a 2-in-3 chance of being blue.

In case you're interested, though, a few tasting notes:

Voltage: "Raspberry citrus flavor," pale blue in color like diluted Windex. Smells like a blue raspberry Slush Puppie and tastes something like it too, with a little bit of a Fun Dip note thrown in. Left a lingering scent in my cup, even after rinsing out.

Revolution: "Wild berry fruit flavor," also blue but with a slight hint of purple color. Fruity in an innocuous and undistinguishable sort of way.

Supernova: "Strawberry melon flavor," sort of pale purple. The least overbearingly sweet of the three. I didn't struggle to finish the can. If I had to choose one of the three, this would probably be it.

Really, though, none of them is really all that good. Save your voting for the important stuff.

(Also posted at Big Action!)

Continued ...

November 1, 2007

Is it adult ADD, or am I just a spazz?


It's getting increasingly difficult to know. According to my not-in-any-way-extensive-Internet research, symptoms include:

  • Distractibility
  • Impulsive behavior
  • The inability to remain focused on tasks or activities
So far, yes, yes, and yes.


Well, maybe not so much with the impulsive part -- unless you count stalking new bath and hair products during every trip to the CVS. Mostly it's just this creeping feeling that I really am beginning to understand what my grandmother meant when she used to go on (and on and on) ... OK, I forgot what I was going to say as I was writing this... oh yeah: when she'd talk about how quickly time goes by, and how it gets harder to keep up. Or, frankly, to recall what it is you were saying. Either way, lately it seems increasingly difficult to remember birthdays (I just couldn't be a bigger loser on that front -- sorry, friends and family), appointments, and to keep up with the laundry. And usually, all I really want to do is hang on the couch and watch Ace of Cakes.

Am I geezing? Has the fact that my hearing is fading after years of Bruce Springsteen shows started to creep in and distract from real life? Am I doomed to a future of never finishing another book, or being unable to tackle the towering pile of of New Yorkers mocking me from the corner? Do I just need a drink?

Continued ...

August 30, 2007

What does your license plate say about you?


We didn't really play the license plate game on our trip per se, but in the 2+ weeks we've been home in Virginia, we've both noticed something what seems to be an inordinate number of personalized license plates.

Now, no offense to those who feel that this is the best venue to express themselves. Wait: I take that back. Really? Dude, get a blog.

I haven't kept a close count...



...but over the course of the past couple of weeks I've counted at least a dozen personalized plates: VA ALUM, WAHOO47, I AM WENDY, URASINR, what have you. Either a lot of people in this area really get a kick out of the personalized license plate, or they're just narcissists.

Today, I hit the laudable Virginia DMV web site, and discovered, in addition to the more than 180 possible license plate styles, that it's only an extra $20 a year to buy yourself a wee billboard for your car. Yay you.

I guess it beats the bumper sticker I saw today on a taxi, proclaiming the driver "Directionally Dysfunctional."

Get hobbies, people.

Continued ...